Words

Words.  I have a lot of them.  Some of them are stronger than others. I just can't seem to get them into a whole lot of order.  I have verses and stories and songs.  Questions and diets and supplement suggestions and the whole nine yards.  I have lots of words, I just can't get them right to talk about how I feel.
Angry- doesn't quite do it justice
Sad- doesn't quite explain enough
Afraid- will never explain an iota of the feeling that threatens to take over my life.  if i let it.  IF I let it.  IF I LET IT.
Guess what?!?!  I WON'T let it.  I CAN'T let it.
You see, God has already begun to remind me of his faithfulness and willingness to provide.  Example 1- Earlier this week I made plans to have lunch with The Ulrich's (a family I nannyed for a couple of summers up in Fargo) today.  God knew I would need that lunch.  Need to see these awesome people.  Need to have my heart feel light after having a heavy day yesterday.  Example 2- my phone, Facebook, and email have been absolutely bombarded with messages of love and support.  God knew I would need each and every one of these too.  Example 3- Peace.  I know I have talked about this before but I am finding peace in what is happening.  Only God can give this peace.  It can only happen when the body of Christ lifts you up in prayer.  I know that people are bringing my family to the throne minute by minute because I am able to have that unfathomable peace.  So blessed to have the most amazing team of prayer warriors.
For today I am simply going to choose to say Get behind US Satan!  (yes, us.  Jesus and me). Jesus will be my Rock and my Redeemer.  My Healer.  My Helper.  My Very Present Help.  My Comforter.  My Shepard.  My Light.  He will help me to take that fear and doubt that you love so much and crush it under his mighty hand.  For today simply: Thank you Jesus for this opportunity to trust you more.