Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Happy Tears!

There are happy tears absolutely pouring out of my eyes right now!
I just got to skype with my class and I can't even explain how happy it made me.
Yesterday was a really, really tough day.  I had a terrible headache and I laid on the couch ALL day long and just felt like a punk.
Today I feel "like a million bucks" (just for you dad) and to add the joy of seeing my kids on top of that made me so incredibly happy.
Not going back to work has been hard.   I love what I do and I feel like I do what God has called me to do which makes it harder to not go back. (I know the reasons why I can't and I understand that my health is more important but it still sucks)  I have some very needy kids this year and I was mourning the loss of the opportunity to love on them and show them God's love.  I know that they are in good hands and I am thankful for the wonderful staff that I work with.
Seeing them today and how happy they were to see me just made me smile so huge and it was exactly what I needed!

I am constantly being humbled through this experience with the reminders that I am not in control and the future is unknown.  I am also being humbled by the fact that I don't get to know the plan for any of this and that as hard as it is, I have to take it one day at a time.  What a way for a "planner" (which is what I called myself) to be humbled.  I have trusted God and his perfect plan for as long as I can remember but wow am I learning that I can't plan for everything nor should I try.  All I need to do is relax and let God take care of it one day at a time.

2 comments:

  1. Amen, dear Leanne. Let God do the driving.... you just get to ride! Many prayers being said for you dear one! Virtual HUGS - AK & UJ

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  2. I'm a planner too, and it is almost overwhelming when you realize that no amount of planning will change God's plan-and thank you for being my reminder of this-I have a horrible tendency to forget that I am not in control! Sending all my love, hugs, kisses and prayers your way! Xoxo ~Vicki~

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