7 1/2 months might be more accurate but oh well. We do the best we can around here. We have been busy living. No stats this month due to no doctor appointments.
Likes:
Taking a bath like a big guy
Cousin Emma (and Craig, Unk, and Aunt RaeAnn)
The Jumperoo
His nuk
His taggie
Dislikes:
Stopping eating
Being alone for too long
Getting dressed after a bath
5-7pm
These eyes make me melt! The giggles, the smiles, the constant motion. He is growing so fast and I am working hard to savor every minute and not wish away one second of it. Even the middle of the night. Which is getting better.
Here is evidence of the constant motion. Not any really great pictures this month. Lots of personality shown though!
We are so blessed to be parents! We love you Leo and are loving watching you grow before our eyes!
We dedicated Leo to the Lord yesterday! We made the decision to have him dedicated at Life Church in Fergus Falls where we had attended before moving to the twin cities. It was awesome to be there and see lots of people who have been praying for us and loving on us.
We have a video if you want to watch it HERE
It is blurry to start but it clears up and it also starts sideways but it will flip to the right direction :-)
Ryan, Leo and I
Grammie and Papa came.
The whole Miller family came too!
As we thought about and prayed about verses for Leo's dedication we were led to
Psalm 25:4-5
Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.
and
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him,
so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Our prayer for Leo is that he grows big and strong. That he never forgets the miracle that he is. That he is a man of integrity, love, compassion, and courage. Most important, we pray that he comes to know the God of hope in a personal way and dedicates his life to serving him.
I thought I loved you then. . . those were the words of the song that Ryan and I were dancing to here:
We had no idea of what was to come but we loved one another and loved the Lord and that was all that mattered.
Three years later here we are. Three house/apartments. Two cities. A baby. Cancer. So much has happened in the last three years.
I thought I loved Ryan then.
I know I did.
I love him so much more today. More than I ever thought possible. He has been AMAZING through all of this cancer junk. He tells me that "it will be ok." He dries my tears. He does whatever he can to help me when I am tired or not feeling well. All while working full time and being the most amazing dad! I knew he would be a great dad. He amazes me every day with Leo. I mean honestly, how many other dads get up in the middle of the night?
God has blessed us in amazing ways! It is incredible to see parts of his plan that we did not understand at the time coming together now right before our eyes. I am so thankful that God blessed me with Ryan.
Here is a little Friday Funny for you! With all of the photo shoots
that go on around here there are quite a few outtakes. Some of them are
pretty great! Here they are in no particular age order.
Hope you got a good laugh at the reality that happens around here! Anyone else have outtakes to share? Katie? Danielle? Other readers?
On July 13 we participated in Relay for Life here in Eden Prairie. I
was the honorary survivor which meant that I had the opportunity to
share my story. Most of you have seen/heard it but if you haven't, it
is here on our youtube channel. I know there have also been pictures posted but here are the few that I have.
Leo and I walked the survivor's lap. He got to walk with me because he had chemo too and he is a survivor just like I am.
These are just a couple of the luminaries that we made. If you have never been to a Relay for Life before, the luminary ceremony is a must attend event. The lights go down and they light the luminaries. You then walk and look at the luminaries in silence remembering and honoring those who have lost their fight or are still fighting.
I have struggled with the words for this post for a few weeks now. I don't know that I can ever really get it right. I need to share two important things and I know that I am going to fumble through them and it frustrates me.
1. I did not want to be a part of Relay. Not because I don't love Relay. I love what they do and I was honored and humbled to be there but it was another step in admitting that I am and forever will be linked with the "c" word. Sometimes I trick my brain into pretending that this is not real or denying that it is a part of who I am. The other survivors at Relay donned their purple shirts with pride and smiles. I couldn't bring myself to even put mine on. (I wore my Team Chin shirt). Cancer is not something I am proud of. I don't know that it will ever be. I look at people in the waiting rooms at the doctor's office and continually try to convince myself that I am not like them. I. am. not. sick. Maybe it is because I feel like I did something wrong in my life and I ended up with cancer and I am embarrassed. I know that is crazy. I know I did not choose this or do something to get it. Maybe it is because I am mad at cancer. I am mad that it gets into people's bodies and wreaks havoc. I am mad that it flips worlds upside down. I am mad that people have to endure what I am enduring. Maybe it is because I am terrified by cancer. Maybe it is because I
have no control over something I want to control with every fiber of my
being. Maybe it is because cancer has humbled me beyond belief. In a way, I feel blessed that God trusted me (and my family) enough to give us this to remind us to trust him. I know that sounds weird but it is true. God has blessed us through cancer and although I am mad at it (cancer, not God) and scared by it I am continually reminded that God uses all things to work together for my good.
2. This is one I don't talk much about. I can't. I get too emotional. I can't find the words. If you listen to my speech from Relay, I glossed over them. I touched on them. But I can never, ever, ever seem to find the right way to tell people about them. I can never find the right words to thank them. My husband. My family. I can't say enough about the importance of them in my fight. About the ways that they step up over and over and over again. About the phone calls, emails, texts, tweets, hugs, skypes. The way they have buffered me from people that I can't talk to. Or don't feel like talking to. Or don't have the energy to talk to. I am sitting here in tears just thinking about the ways they have loved on me through this. Listen to this song
They are the angels by my side. No one will ever, ever, ever know or understand the blessing that they are to me no matter how hard I try to explain it. I love them more than they know and I could not do this without each and every one of them.
That is the only way to describe what has been going on around here for the last week. Something tells me that these two three pictured and a certain Texan are going to get into some trouble together. . . Here is to pure sweetness and cherishing the little years!
.JPG)
