Leo's Birth Story

I don't think I could ever forget my son's entrance into this world but I would hate to not document it and then not remember something so here goes.

Monday night we checked into the hospital for the beginning of the induction process.  They start with what is called cervical ripening (sorry dad!).  I was given a medicine around 7:30pm and then we were just told to wait.  We watched the national championship football game and read and listened to music while we waited.  I was hooked up to a monitor so we watched Grover's (he was still nameless at that point. . . ) heart rate.  I had contractions overnight but they never got strong or into a regular pattern.
At 7:30 Tuesday morning, we met our new nurse Amy.  She told us that she would be with us all day from beginning until delivery.  She heard the praise music playing on my ipad and we told her a little bit about our story.  She asked if she could pray with us before she checked me and started anything else.  What a blessing it was to have a nurse pray with us to calm our fears!  Amy checked me and she said it did not seem like anything had changed but that she would let the doctor know.  Dr. Wagner came in around 8:30 and let us know that he had been watching the monitor and did not see enough progress and that we were going to go ahead with a c-section at 11:30.  It was kind of a whirlwind after that.  There were blood draws, 3 tries at an iv, and people coming in to inform us of what would happen.  My parents got there around 10:00 and the nurses came in to say that we were going to start early!  Ryan got all gussied up in his scrubs and we walked to the operating room.  I was more than a little nervous and I heard Amy asking God to give me peace and help me calm down.  What an awesome feeling to have someone talking to God on your behalf when you cannot!  I had my spinal and they prepped everything. Ryan came in, and 15 minutes later, Leo Christopher was born. 
The NICU team took Leo just after the doctor showed him to me and Ryan was able to go back and forth between where they were working with Leo and the operating room where I was.  I could see them from where I was which was another blessing.  The team decided that Leo needed to go to the NICU because he just had a little too much fluid in his lungs. They had stalled for a while, trying to give him time to clear his lungs but he just couldn't do it. (He wanted to check out the NICU and charm some nurses over there) They wheeled the transporter out through the operating room so I could see him again and Ryan went with them over to Children's Hospital.  The blessing with them stalling to give Leo some time was that between when they left and when I was out of the operating room was about 5 minutes. 
My mom met me as we left and we went to recovery.  I spent about an hour and a half there before Amy (the nurse) wheeled me off to Children's to see Leo.
There you have it, Leo Christopher Miller's birth story :-)

Exciting Things. . .

So way back when in 2009 right after we got married, Ryan and I took a class called Financial Peace University.  We learned a lot about managing money, having a budget, and becoming debt free.  If you talk to either one of us, we would tell you it is one of the best things we did for our marriage.  We set a goal as we finished the class that we wanted to be debt free by the time we had our first baby.  GUESS WHAT?!?!?!

WE ARE DEBT FREE!!!!!!

We paid off the balance of our my student loans last week.  I wish I could meet Dave Ramsey (the guy who teaches the course) and give him a huge hug!  God used him in our lives in a way we never could have imagined.  Two years before anything was on our radar, God used a simple money management course to set us up to deal with what was in our future.  Our baby is coming 2 months early, I have cancer, I have been on medical leave since October, and we STILL made our goal!  God is SOOOOOOO good!

Exciting thing number 2:
We held a little fun game last night after church when Ryan and I went to dinner. . . We asked our family for their name guesses (they have been HOUNDING us for Grover's name).  We gave them the hint that the last initial is M. Aren't we nice??  Here are their guesses in no particular order:

Luke Joyseph
Tim Tebow
Ian Benjamin
George Bonks
Michael Luke
Malcom D'Brickashaw
Alexander Milo
Joseph
Liam, Sam, Adam, Abraham, Tim, Cam, William, I honestly don't know 

Do you think any of them are right??  You will have to wait and see :-)

Grover Has A Place To Live

Grover has a place to live when he is ready to come home from the hospital :-)  

He has a crib, and a bookshelf. . .

A dresser with clothes, a changing pad, and a glider so we can rock him to sleep :-)

 

 Someone was practicing :-)

Proverbs 31

So I saw a pin on pinterest that said "I'd rather be a Proverbs 31 woman than a Victoria's Secret model."  I thought it was interesting and thought that it was a cool idea but did not think any more about it.  Then I saw this. . .



As someone who has gone through some and will go through more external appearance changes recently (Read: losing my hair: Growing belly and eventually deflating belly, Mastectomy. . . ) I was inspired by this video.  External appearance is important in our society and I have been learning more and more lately that IT DOES NOT MATTER.  God loves us just how we are and he created us just how we are and he puts us in situations in life that will change our appearance and guess what, HE LOVES US JUST HOW WE ARE. He also equips the people we love to love us just how we are.  Shaving my head was one of the most difficult things I have ever done.  I was just not ready (nor would I have ever been) and it was another step in admitting that this cancer thing was really happening.  It took me two days to be able to look in the mirror without shaking.  It took me a couple of showers to be able to "wash my hair" without crying.  It took me a while to feel comfortable in a hat. It took me time to take my hat off in front of anyone.  Ryan wasn't there when I shaved my head.  The first time I saw him I was nervous and scared of what his reaction would be.  I didn't want to scare him or be ugly to him or anything else like that. (Looking back I know how irrational those fears were but they were real at the time)  He came home, wrapped me in a hug and I asked if he wanted to see it.  He said yes and as I took my hat off, tears filled my eyes.  I couldn't look at him and I buried my face in his shirt.  You know what happened?  He kissed me right on the top of my bald head and told me I was beautiful.  He did not shed a tear and reminded me that it is just hair and that it will grow back.  What an example of an amazingly strong husband who can look at his wife whose body is going through these changes and tell her she is beautiful. (Do you suppose he will try to tell me my boob will grow back?  TMI?  Just curious. haha)  As much as I want to continue to try and be a Proverbs 31 wife, I want to encourage husbands to love their wives no matter what and remind them how beautiful they are, inside and out.  Every girl needs to hear it over and over and over and over again and be convinced of it when she does not believe it herself.

Things That Are Making Me Smile

I am sitting here thinking about the things that are making me smile today. . . Here they are in no particular order. . .

1. My Hats! Didn't Mary do a great job on the brown, gray, and black ones and colored flowers and Dawn do a great job on the navy one with the gray flower?! They are super great. Check them out if you need some cute hats!

 

2. My Cards!

I am so thankful I asked people to help me with this!  I am amazed at how much they help remind me that fear is not from God and that he alone can help me conquer it!

 

3. School Pictures!

So each teacher got like a whole pack of pictures this year and they each wrote a note on the back and sent them to me!   I work with the BEST people! So stinkin funny!

 4. These Two Pictures!

Enough said!

5.  Making Christmas Cards!

I am starting to think about making Christmas cards for people so if you want one, email me at ljwhite07@gmail.com and we can talk about pictures. Here are a few I did last year: 

One Month

It has been exactly one month since I was given the biggest challenge I have faced in my life so far. What a whirlwind month it has been. In the past month I have gone to numerous doctor appointments, had two rounds of chemo, picked out a wig, cried lots of tears, shaved my head, and learned more about God's love than I ever could have imagined. I am shocked and in awe of all of the love and support that has been shown to Ryan, Grover and I and both of our families. We are so thankful for each act of kindness and each prayer that is offered on our behalf. This is not a journey we expected but we are continually experiencing the Love of God, his plan for our lives, and his provision in all areas. I am so blessed to have my amazing husband by my side and my parents who have basically let me move in with them. I am also blessed to have my sisters and brother who are the masterminds behind Team Chin. And I am blessed to have Ryan's parents and family helping in so many ways too. This journey is not easy but the love and support make each day easier.

Here is a picture of our little Grover boy at 23 weeks! He is learning to kick harder and each kick/flip turn he does in there reminds me that he is being knitted together day by day by our heavenly father who has all of this under control.

I have a need

Okay well I have lots of needs. . .  BUT I have a need that you can help me with. . . One of the things I have been struggling with the most in this whole experience is fear.  I can't explain it all but it is one of those things that just creeps up when I least expect it.  It is the devil's way of getting into this situation and trying to take the glory away from God.  I am working really, really hard to conquer this fear and repeat verses and phrases in my head to help me. I was thinking about how I can continue to conquer it and I decided that I wanted to write verses on 3 x 5 index cards and bind them together so I can flip to one every time the fear creeps in.  Here is where all of you come in.  Pick a verse, write it on an index card, write your name (and a note if you want) on the back of the card, and send it to me.  I will put them all on a ring and keep them with me all the time. Here is the address:
17639 George Moran Drive
Eden Prairie, MN 55347

Thanks for being a part of my support team and for letting me be real. . . I know I can count on you to help me conquer this fear and show the devil that my God is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more powerful that he is!