Thankful: This Guy

This week I am thankful for this guy!  My best friend.  My husband.  He is AMAZING ya'll.  He has been my rock through all of this cancer junk.  He is an amazing dad.  He works incredibly hard for our family.  He gets up with Leo on the weekends just so I can sleep in.  He gets up in the middle of the night and calms down screaming Leo.  He makes some mean pancakes and scrambled eggs.  He encourages me.  He loves me.  He laughs with me.  He tells me I am beautiful.  He rubbed my bald head.  He lets me talk.  He actually listens when I talk.  I am so thankful for him and I don't know where I would be without him.  I am thankful God knew just what I would need in a husband and he created Ryan to be that guy.  

PS I am also overwhelmingly thankful for good appointments and a new CANCER FREE SEASON OF LIFE!  It is time to get busy living!

Thankful: The Word and Music

Again today I am thankful for two things.  The second goes off of the first so I paired them up.  

I am so thankful for The Word of God.  I have never really been a studier of the Bible before but thanks to the devotional Jesus Calling, the website shereadstruth.com and a Beth Moore Bible study I have been spending one nap time each day in the Word.  I am absolutely loving my time and I can tell my heart is being worked on by my all-knowing, wise Father.  He is so wise ya'll.  He amazes me each day in how the three separate things I am doing seem to fit together time after time after time.  His promises are amazing and I am just astonished that he loves me that much, knows me that well, has everything all planned out, and provides for me.  I am thankful that he is continually speaking words of Life, Peace, and Love into my heart each day.

I am also thankful for music.  My heart has been so comforted by good Christian music.  There are so many songs that seem to be written just for me and I hear them at the exact right time.  So many of them quote parts of the Bible and I find myself singing those parts over and over again.  I am thankful that these promises drown out the silence that could be scary if I let it.  

I am thankful that both of these help me fight the battle that wages in my head each day.  The enemy knows that fear is a weak spot for me.  He takes every opportunity to attack my mind.  I am so thankful that I am working on letting God control my thoughts because Romans 8:6 says ...but the mind controlled by the spirit is life and peace.

8 Months!

Someone is 8 months old!  (Yep that is puke on his onesie.  We gave him a bath, took him out of the tub, put him in the onesie and he puked. He is cool like that)  He is growing and changing so fast.  This has been a big month for us. Leo:

Puts EVERYTHING in his mouth.

Loves swinging!

Can scoot and roll when he wants things although he will not allow you to get a video.

Loves his Mama.   Unless his Daddy is around and then his Mama does not matter.

Does not like taking pictures.

 Loves being upside down.

Holds toys with no hands.

Still loves to eat.  Starting to show preferences with food.

Can sit up.  Chooses not to.

Loves playing rough.

Has TWO teeth (will not show them for pictures).

Sleeps from 7pm-7am!!!!!!!!!

Knows what the signs all done and more mean.  Doesn't sign back yet but will smile or yell depending on which he wants.

Takes two good naps a day (three if he needs it).

Loves to go on walks in the stroller.

Loves bath time.

Loves chewing on ice cubes in mesh teethers.

Still pukes.

Not a fan of the nursery at church.

Loves pumpkin, sweet potatoes, and carrots.

We love you Leo!  Keep growing and learning new things.

Thankful! New Friends, New Life

I thought the other day "When November comes I should do a blog series about things I am thankful for."  Then I thought "Why wait until November?  Can't you be thankful in September or October?"  So Today marks the beginning of Thankful Blogs.  My goal is to do one every week.

Today I am thankful for new friends and new life.
Meet Holly (in the middle).

 She is a new friend.  By new I mean that we began emailing in January and have become fast friends. We share a pregnant with breast cancer bond.  We both agree that the color pink is detestable.   I just knew we could be friends when I found out she hates the color pink too.  I am thankful for Holly's friendship.  Not only does she understand the cancer junk, she is a veteran mama who even had a baby in the NICU.  God knew I needed her advice and knowledge when it came to Leo and his preemie status.  For that alone I am truly thankful.  She is also the reason I am thankful for new life.
Meet Max

He is a precious 8 pound bundle and a reminder of everything that is good in the world.  How can God not be good and sovereign when you look into those little eyes and think about how he was created?  I am thankful that new life reminds me that time is precious.  Thankful to be reminded that they grow so fast.  I feel like it has been years since Mr. Leo was that little.  In reality, it has been 5 months.  I am thankful that we can celebrate new life in the midst of hard things.  
I am most thankful that God provided people like Holly to walk through this journey with me.  I would never wish it on anyone and if you ask me, she has had more than her share of hard things and she can be done any time now.  But, I am thankful that I am not alone.  Thankful that I have wonderful, amazing, strong women in my life that can I can compare scars, medicines, and fake boobs with. :-)  

The Park

The weather has been cooler the last two days so we took advantage and went to the park tonight. (I know there is a lot going on in the outfit.  The socks and jacket were last minute additions)

When did he become a grown up?  Seriously! Make time slow down!  

Someone got to swing for the first time.  So fun!  There were many, many shrieks of joy.  We think he liked it.

 We loved what it did to his hair.  Don't mind the blanket we had to shove behind him to keep him from flopping all over.  

 We took advantage of the monster truck available.  Daddy had to help a bit!

 Someone loves being in the stroller and walking with mom and dad!  Hopefully there are many more park dates in our fall future!

From Leo

 Guess what?!  My mom and dad took me to the beach yesterday.  I had all of my gear.  The hat, glasses, sandals, swim trunks, and most important, sunscreen.  Auntie Aimee calls me translucent so I made sure to protect this pasty skin.

 I am pretty relaxed most of the time so I hung with Daddy for a while before trying out the water. . .

 I did like it, I promise.  My favorite part was when Mommy and Daddy swung me side to side and my feet splashed in the water.

We took a family picture too.  Please don't mind Mommy's very, very pasty white legs.  She didn't get out much this summer.  What did you do for Labor Day?
Love, Leo

Normal Life

Is there such a thing?  I am in the process of answering that question for myself.  It is going to take some time.  The last year of my life has been spent in such a high stress, low energy environment.  All it takes is a few days with no appointments for me to think "wow, is this what normal 27 year old life is?" Ya'll ( I am remembering my Tennessee days) I am craving quiet, motivation, energy, slow mornings, and days where I have to go NOWHERE!
I know that I should feel like I crossed some big finish line but I don't.  There will still be appointments (though fewer and farther between) and surgeries.  This journey is not over.  I don't know what the future will hold but I do know a couple things.
1.  This has changed my whole life.  Things that I used to think were important matter no more.  I feel like I have a handle on what is important in life.  I want nothing more to spend the rest of my life serving the Lord and loving on my friends and family.
2.  Serving the Lord.  I am working to figure out what that means in this new season of my life.  Teaching?  Being a full time Mom?  Doing something else?  I don't know.  I'm just spending time praying and asking God to lead me to what He wants from me.  For right now, the Lord wants me to heal.  I still love teaching but cancer forced me to realize that there are people in my life who need me more and I am called to be a good wife and mother first and foremost.
3.  Fear is real.  Fear is one of Satan's greatest weapons.  Fear can overtake you.  IF you let it.  I am declaring (publicly so that I can be held to it) that I am going to REFUSE to worry.  Yes, there are lots of scary cancer stories out there.  Yes, there is a chance that it could come back. Yes, nothing is promised.  All of those things feed fear and I do not want to live the rest of my life in fear.  My God is amazing and he promises to provide.  I have no reason not to trust him.  I am REFUSING to worry.  I have too many people to love on and too many days to savor.  It just makes no sense to worry.
4.  HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT MY GOD HAS DONE SO FAR IN MY LIFE????  I sat down the other day and made a list of ways God provided in the last year.  WOW.  It is amazing to see.  God had each day so perfectly planned.  He knew what we would need and just when we would need it.  It humbles me beyond belief to think that he loves me that much.  It is even more humbling to know that he knows just what will happen in the coming days, weeks, months, and years.

We sang one of my fav. songs at church last night.  The lyrics go like this:
All of my life, in every season, you are still God, I have a reason to sing I have a reason to worship.
These words reminded me that we are entering a new season of this journey. No matter what happens in this season and the seasons to come, we have a reason to worship! My God is the God who provides.