Normal Life

Is there such a thing?  I am in the process of answering that question for myself.  It is going to take some time.  The last year of my life has been spent in such a high stress, low energy environment.  All it takes is a few days with no appointments for me to think "wow, is this what normal 27 year old life is?" Ya'll ( I am remembering my Tennessee days) I am craving quiet, motivation, energy, slow mornings, and days where I have to go NOWHERE!
I know that I should feel like I crossed some big finish line but I don't.  There will still be appointments (though fewer and farther between) and surgeries.  This journey is not over.  I don't know what the future will hold but I do know a couple things.
1.  This has changed my whole life.  Things that I used to think were important matter no more.  I feel like I have a handle on what is important in life.  I want nothing more to spend the rest of my life serving the Lord and loving on my friends and family.
2.  Serving the Lord.  I am working to figure out what that means in this new season of my life.  Teaching?  Being a full time Mom?  Doing something else?  I don't know.  I'm just spending time praying and asking God to lead me to what He wants from me.  For right now, the Lord wants me to heal.  I still love teaching but cancer forced me to realize that there are people in my life who need me more and I am called to be a good wife and mother first and foremost.
3.  Fear is real.  Fear is one of Satan's greatest weapons.  Fear can overtake you.  IF you let it.  I am declaring (publicly so that I can be held to it) that I am going to REFUSE to worry.  Yes, there are lots of scary cancer stories out there.  Yes, there is a chance that it could come back. Yes, nothing is promised.  All of those things feed fear and I do not want to live the rest of my life in fear.  My God is amazing and he promises to provide.  I have no reason not to trust him.  I am REFUSING to worry.  I have too many people to love on and too many days to savor.  It just makes no sense to worry.
4.  HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT MY GOD HAS DONE SO FAR IN MY LIFE????  I sat down the other day and made a list of ways God provided in the last year.  WOW.  It is amazing to see.  God had each day so perfectly planned.  He knew what we would need and just when we would need it.  It humbles me beyond belief to think that he loves me that much.  It is even more humbling to know that he knows just what will happen in the coming days, weeks, months, and years.

We sang one of my fav. songs at church last night.  The lyrics go like this:
All of my life, in every season, you are still God, I have a reason to sing I have a reason to worship.
These words reminded me that we are entering a new season of this journey. No matter what happens in this season and the seasons to come, we have a reason to worship! My God is the God who provides.